1.9 - Karma Kills

The house was quiet after the court case was over. Grant and I barely talked about it. Everyone congratulated me after the court case was over, but I didn't know how to respond. It didn't feel right to be congratulated on something like that.

     I couldn't get over it. The entire situation was just terrible. Joey killed her mother and sister. I kept running that sentence over and over in my head, like it wasn't done sinking in. She killed them...

     I can understand why she would be angry at them, but I just don't understand how she got too angry.

     I woke up with a jolt, sweat pouring down my forehead. I breathed quickly and shallowly as I tried to calm down. I kept my eyes open, staring at the darkness that enveloped my room. I looked over at the clock. 4:12 a.m. I just decided to get up early this morning and I got up to fix a cup of coffee.

     

     I sat on the bar in the upstairs kitchen, drinking my coffee and reading my book. Grant opened the door and walked in. "Meredith? You okay?" Grant asked, his tone serious.

     I couldn't say anything, I just nodded.

     Grant slowly closed the door and walked up to me. He sat in the barstool next to me and grabbed my hand. "What's going on? You've been getting up earlier and earlier every day since the explosion."

     I closed my book and looked up at him. "I can't sleep anymore." I said simply. "I just can't sleep without thinking about the whole thing."

     "What whole thing? What Joey did?"

     I nodded.

     "Look, Meredith, Joey's in jail. She's going to be there for a long time. While she's there, she's going to get help. Whatever she did is over now, and she's not going to do it to anyone else ever again."

     I shook my head. "What about her daughter?"

     "What about her?"

     I stared at him. "Her mother just went to jail. Now she's being taken care of by her only parent she has left, who works a full time job and has no idea what he's doing."

     Grant shrugged. "It's not your problem. It's Gary's."

     I gaped at him with disbelief. "How can you say that? It is my problem!"

     Grant let go of my hand. "How the hell does that make any sense?"

     "Joey went to jail because of something I was accused of!" I yelled.

     Grant threw up his hands in exasperation. "You didn't kill Courtney or Kristy! Joey did!"

     I was about to retaliate, but Grant turned his back on me. "You know what? You just stay up feeling guilty, I'm going back to bed." Grant slammed the door behind him.

     I watched him go and sat there, hands together in front of me. I put my head on the table and let the tears flow free.

     Grant and I hadn't made up in a long time. We didn't talk about what happened, but we went about our days as if everything was normal. In the meantime, We had a lot of birthdays to celebrate. Gavin aged into a toddler.

      Khloe and Ryder's birthday came not long after, and they aged up into children, both gaining the excitable trait.

Pretty soon, it became my birthday as well. I was dreading turning into an adult, but it couldn't be helped. I decided to get a makeover and buy some new clothes as a birthday present to myself.

 As my birthday fell on spooky day, we decided to go to the fall festival when it opened. Our plan was to get back early enough so Khloe and Ryder could go Trick or Treating, and then me, Grant, and my mom and George could hang out at our house.

      When we got there, Ryder and Khloe immediately ran up to me. "Mom! Let's all enter the pie-eating contest!" Ryder exclaimed.
     Much to my dismay, I decided to enter anyways. I was always afraid of eating contests, because I was afraid I would get sick if I ate too much.

 ...And I also got pie all over my face, which I was not happy with.

      Suprisingly enough, Ryder beat everybody in the contest, including his own father. "Woo! I won!" He yelled as he jumped up and down.

      I didn't have much time to celebrate though, as I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I ran away from the stand so my kids didn't have to see me puking in the open.

      When I returned, Grant didn't seem like he was too happy with his stomach, either.

      Khloe, however, was obsessed with the haunted house they had set up. She kept going through over and over again by herself.

      I can't say my experience at the fair was the best one, because towards the end, I felt like throwing up again, and Me and Grant fought for the bathroom.

      Around 4 o'clock, we left the festival so we could get dressed up in our costumes. Khloe wanted the two of us to match, so we both got hot dog costumes.

      Ryder and Khloe helped Grant out with his Zebra costume.

      Eventually my mom and George came over in their costumes. My mom came dressed as a cheerleader, and George came as an astronaut.

The four of us spent our night eating the food that my mom brought over, drinking whatever alcohol was left in the fridge, and mooching off of our kid's candy when they came home from trick-or-treating. All in all, it was a good day for my family.

     I pulled my car up to the side of the road and got out of the drivers seat. I walked around to the other side of the car and pulled out the bags of groceries. I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell with my elbow.

     I heard almost silent footsteps, and Gary answered the door. He frowned when he saw me. "Hi."

     "Hi. Can I come in?"

     Gary nodded and opened the door, motioning for me to come in. The house was a mess; plates were scattered all over the table and near the sink, random stains from drinks covered the surface of the floor, and clothes lie over all corners of the house. "Sorry about the mess, I've been really busy lately so it's been kind of hard to clean."

     I nodded. "I understand." Grizella sat on the carpet in front of the tv, playing with blocks. She giggled as she played, which made me smile.

     I turned back to Gary. "I, uhm, I bought you some food and diapers and things for the baby." I began. "I figured you might need some help with getting groceries and things like that." He grabbed the bags from me and frowned. "Thank you."

     Moments of awkward silence followed before I spoke. "Gary, listen, I feel terribly guilty about the whole thing with Joey." Gary crossed his arms. "I feel like it was my fault she went to jail, and I know that might not make a lot of sense, but i'm trying to make it up to you and Grizella. So, anytime you need anyone to watch Grizella or help you with anything you need, please just ask me."

     Gary didn't say anything. He just kept his arms crossed and looked me in the eyes. I reached into my purse and pulled out a slip of paper with my number written on it. "Call me whenever you need to." I put the piece of paper on the counter before heading for the door. I was about to open it when Gary interrupted it. "Could you maybe help me clean this place up?" Gary said, his voice shaking a little.

I immediately turned around and smiled. "Absolutely."

     It was late when I finally left Gary's house. I was able to help him clean up his house and put Ella to bed. He offered to make me something to eat before I left, but I told him I should probably be getting home to my family, my husband was probably worried sick.
     When I walked in the door, it was around 10:30. Grant sat in the living room watching TV, back to the door. I closed the door, and Grant noticed the noise. "Glad you made it home." he said.
     I scoffed. "Yeah, I made it home." I put my purse down on the counter. And turned back to Grant. Grant had aged up recently, and he wasn't that happy about becoming an adult. I looked around the room. "Where are the kids?"
     Grant, not even looking my way, frowned. "I put Gavin to bed a while ago, and the kids have been asleep for about an hour." He turned off the TV and stood up. "where were you?" he asked.
     I put my hands behind my back and looked right in his eyes. "After work, i went over to Gary's."
     Grant looked at me for a long time. I could feel the anger through his glare. "Why?"
     I shrugged. "Because he needs someone to help him."
     Grant rubbed his brow. "Meredith, we talked about this. What happened to Courtney and Kristy wasn't your fault."
     I quickly cut him off. "It wasn't Gary's fault either. Or Ella's."
     Grant nodded. "Ella's."
     I sighed. "Gary's struggling, Grant. He doesn't know what he's doing without Joey. I can't just ignore them, I have to do something for them. For both of them."
     Grant shook his head. "what does that mean?"
     "It means I'm going to help out whenever I can, whether you like it or not."
     Grant was silent for a long time. "What about OUR family? The family you already have?"
     "Give me some credit, Grant. I've been here for our family, and I will continue to be here for our family. I'm not leaving anyone. But, that little girl is my family, too, and I want to make sure that she grows up well without her mother."
     That was enough for Grant. He started laughing and headed for the stairs. "I can't believe this shit." He muttered.

      Regardless what Grant thought, I still went over to Gary's every day after work and helped out with Ella. I brought over things for the baby sometimes, and whenever Gary had to pick up an extra shift at work, I would always babysit. He would either make dinner himself or pick something up on the way back, so I would always have something to eat.
     Grant barely talked to me anymore. He either ignored me when he saw me or immersed himself with our kids so he wouldn't have to talk to me. Grant was picking up extra shifts, too. Somedays I would have to leave early to take care of my kids because Grant was working late. Part of me knew he was doing it on purpose, but i didn't let it bother me. This gave me more time to be with my kids.

      One day, we had put Ella to bed early and I was helping Gary tidy up the house. Gary stopped cleaning and looked at me. "Listen, Meredith, thank you so much for everything you've done for me and Ella. It really means a lot to me."
     I smiled back at him. "It's the least I could do for you and Ella."
     Gary nodded. "Things have just been really hard since Joey got arrested, and it's nice to know that people like you are still willing to help out."
     I shook my head, and looked into his dark chocolate eyes. "I don't know if I could have left you alone."

Without thinking, I slammed my lips into Gary's.

      It was all a blur, I couldn't think about anything else but how much I loved Gary. I didn't want to think about anything else. I just let it happen.

I somehow let myself make the worst mistake of my life.